I just threw out the love of my dreams
by Bathing-M
Summary: Your love betrays you and you just stop caring. Your dreams, ambitions, friends... they don't matter anymore. What matters is your pain and if you can't deal with it make sure everybody is in pain too. Naley or Neyton. And friendship.
1. I just threw out the love of my dreams

**A/N: **After reading like a dozen of fanfics I decided to write some of my ideas. And I have to upload this really fast before I duck my head with shame and delete this story.

The story takes place after Haley left for tour with Chrissy (I really hate that guy), Deb is already an addict, Dan is a funny bastard, I don't care about Brucas or Pucas so I'm not sure if I'm gonna write anything about those pairings, Brooke and Peyton are friends because they rock together though there are gonna be some cat fights, because they do rock better.

Story can take different roads, mainly because I really don't know even in my head what is gonna happen and because I love Peyton and badass Nathan as much as I love Naley sweetness (but not 4th season sweetness with baby and whatever because that made me wanna puke).. so... aren't you confused?

**Disclamer: **Not mine, though I would really like to own James's body and Peyton's character. Also artists mentioned in this chapters are: Bright Eyes, Snoop Dogg, 50 Cent and Weezer.

* * *

**I just threw out the love of my dreams. **(Weezer)

Focus on the basket. Three steps forward, turn around, jump and shoot.

"Nicee!"

"Hi, Lucas. What's up?" Nathan passed the ball to Lucas who caught it easly and made a three point shot.

"Just checking on my lil' bro."

"You mean your better looking half?"

Lucas smirked and passed the ball to Nathan who made another extremally hard looking jump shot.

"Actually... I'm good." Nathan paused to look at Lucas who waited for him to continue. After Haley left for tour with Chris-shithead-Keller, Nathan was far from feeling good. "I was thinking to... go see Haley and try to make things right again."

"That's great man!" Lucas said with smile and added more seriously - I'm really glad you choose to fight for your marriage.

"Yeah... Me too." Lucas patted Nathan on the back and then took the ball from him.

"Let's see if I'm more talented half!" Lucas ran past laughing brother and made a nice jump shoot by himself.

"Maybe just more lucky half."

* * *

"No way! I'm not going to listen some shizly-mizzly rap!" 

"It's shizzle-mizzle."

"Whatever! I'm putting Bright Eyes."

"You mean Bright-LAME? C'mon! All the guy does is whine, cry, whine!"

"Well, at least he didn't called himself 'doggy'!"

"Well, at least he isn't LAME!"

"Ok, we can go on like this for hours. Let's make a deal, I will LET YOU play some 50 Cent later, if you let me play Weezer now. Deal?"

"I can stand Weezer... Deal."

Peyton sighned with relief and played first song. The music argument will never die.

_Where I come from isn't all that great  
My automobile is a piece of crap_

"That's not bad"

"Nathan Scott! Did you just said something good about my music?!" Nathan laughed and shook his head at Peyton. "Well, well, maybe I can save you from rap, there's still hope."

"Not a chance." Nathan deadpanned and Peyton smiled.

_I didn't go to boarding schools  
Pretty girls never looked at me_

"You know... I'm really glad you agreed to go with me." Nathan looked at Peyton who ducked her head a little. "Without you I'm not really sure if I..."

"I know" Peyton interrupted him sensing that it was hard for him to be so vourneable. "Besides, who is the better person to convince a wife to come back home than her husband's ex?" Nathan laughed and Peyton grinned.

"Oh, now, this is crap."

"Hey, don't you dare! This song is really good!"

"What he's singing about? Why the hell he would be tired of sex? I mean..."

"And The Cocky Bastard is back."

* * *

"A little bit of Xanax for mama." Deb took a few pills and swallowed them with vodka. Closing her eyes, she smiled. 

"Knock, knock Boozie."

"Oh, I'm gonna need more of that goodness." She said bitterly and swallowed some more pills straight from the bottle. "If I tell you to stay... will you go away?"

"And miss all the fun of annoying you? Come on, are you high?" Dan smirked.

"Go to hell"

"Been there. With you actually. Remember our marriage?"

"Our what?"

"You know honey, two people, expensive rings, white dress, sometimes pregnancy?"

"Whatever, just don't call it marriage... Disaster works better." Deb took another sip from her vodka. "What do you want?"

"Sex." Deb frowned. "Kidding, Boozie. Where are Nathan's annulment papers?"

"I don't know." Deb made a very pleased face, clearly showing that she was lying. "Oh, what the hell. I know where they are, I just..." She shrugged her shoulders. "don't want to give them to you."

"Take more pills and think again."

"I won't let you to destroy my son's marriage!"

"You mean like Haley did?"

"He knows what he's doing."

"He also knew when he was getting married and look how it ended."

"Get out." Deb took two steps forward, shacking with fury. "Get out, or I swear you will beg me for a painkiller!"

Dan smiled and left.

* * *

"Nathan..." Peyton didn't know what to say. She couldn't believe this, it was like she never knew Haley at all. Haley, the rockstar who just broke Nathan's heart. That bitch. "I'm really sorry... I..." 

"Can we not talk about this?" Nathan was staring straight ahead, trying hard to not break down and cry. Not now. "Let's get drunk." Nathan said suddenly. Peyton just looked at him. "Sure, just let me crash the car first."

"Peyton, I'm serious."

Peyton sighned and squeezed steering-wheel a little harder. She knew that Nathan was hurting like hell, but she also knew that alcohol would just make things worse. And it's an enormous pain in the ass to have to deal with drunk Nathan.

"Just a few drinks." He pleaded. Peyton bit her lip and sighned again. "Okay."


	2. Moving for the sake of Motion

**A/N: **I'm watching 2 season again and I really hate Haley right now so you can guess which shipper I prefer more. I mean she's such a little bitch! Chris kissed her for like, 5 seconds, how much time you need to push someone away? And she didn't even slapped him! She was like 'whoa, you leave me breathless, give me two seconds so I can open my eyes'. Bitch. I'm sooo Neyton right now.

**Disclamer: **I don't own anything, the chapter's title is a Underoath song the lyrics are from The Cure 'End of the World'. There is also a mention of the band, La Rocca.

* * *

**2. Moving for the sake of motion. **(Underoath)

"Peyton... Peyt!"

"Whaa... Brooke?"

"Rise and shine..." Peyton grumbled and covered her mouth. "...Or crawl and puke. Whatever. Why the guy in your bed looks like Nathan? I mean, is there Haley somewhere too...?" Brooke started scanning the room and then made a very excited face. "Wait! I get it! Naley sex life was _soo_ boring that they asked you to bring back the sun to their set!" Brooke shook her head. "Bed!"

"Ew, Brooke!" Peyton covered her face with a pillow.

"Why didn't you call me?! I would be totally in!"

"EW!"

"Whaa... the hell.." Nathan mumbled and opened his eyes. "Brooke? ...Why are you sitting on my bed?" Nathan felt something move next to him and turned over. "Peyton?... Wait, Am I 16 again?"

"No, why?" Broke asked confused.

"I used to wake up with many chicks in my bed when I was 16..."

"Whatever. I don't need to hear more. We were dating then." Peyton started to get up and Nathan pursed his lips.

"Wait!!" Brooke screamed and Peyton frozed. "Are you naked?" Peyton rolled her eyes and Nathan checked himself.

"Hey Peyt, can I borrow your La Rocca CD?..." Lucas frozed at the doorway and looked from Peyton to Nathan to Brooke. "What the hell?"

"Yeah, what the fuck?" Brooke turned to Peyton who turned to Nathan who just rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. I'm out of here." He got up and left the room. Fully clothed.

* * *

_Go if you want to  
I never tried to stop you  
Know there's a reason  
For all of this you're feeling  
Low it's not my call  
You couldn't ever love me more  
You couldn't love me more  
You couldn't love_

Nathan entered their apartament. Empty beer bottles and clothes were gone just like any other thing he destroyed. He wanted their apartament to be clean when he and Haley would be back. So Haley wouldn't see what a shell of a man he was without her. Now he felt like there wasn't even a ghost of what he used to be when he was with her. He was a new person. Emotionless, cold and broken inside. He wanted to cry but everytime he tried Dan's face appeared with that annoying smirk he had everytime he proved he was right.

_Me I don't show much  
It's not that hard to hide you  
See in a moment  
i can't remember how to  
Be all you wanted  
I couldn't ever love you more  
I couldn't love you more  
I couldn't love_

His whole trust and hope were sucked into tense air of that quiet room. The room of betrayal.

_You want me to cry and play my part  
I want you to sigh and fall apart  
We want this like everyone else_

Nathan felt like punching something, anything. He crossed the room and made his way to the fridge. He opened the door forcefully. 'No alcohol, dammit!' he said to himself and closed the doors with even more force. He made a few calming breaths and turned around. Then he took first thing he saw and smashed it on the floor. His hands were shaking. He kicked a basketball that was laying on the floor and took a chair throwing it at the wall. He was on a roll.

_Stay if you want to  
I'll always wait to hear you  
Say there's a last kiss  
For all the times you run this  
Way it's not my fault  
You couldn't ever love me more  
Couldn't love me more  
Couldn't love_

* * *

"So, what happened?" Lucas asked a few seconds later after Nathan left. 

"Well, it turns out that Haley is a slut after all." Peyton said getting up. "She fuckin' cheated on Nathan." She opened a drawer and took a bottle RU-21. "With Chris." She swallowed few pills and left them speechless in her room.

_Me I don't say much  
It's far too hard to make you  
See in a moment  
I still forget just how to  
Be all you wanted  
I couldn't ever love you more_

* * *

**A/N#2: **I promise, the next chapter is about that night. We all love the flashbacks. :) Thanks for the reviews! 


	3. Screaming Infidelities

**A/N: **Sorry for the long wait, it's not like I lost interest in this story, I hate unfinished stories, it's just that lately I started watching CSI: NY and almost instantly fell in love with Aiden/Danny shipper. And then I found out that Aiden died (I'm watching 1 season I guess) and I kind of had a 'lost-shipper-depression' blush. I mean there is no chance for Neyton, no chance for Seth/Alex because the OC is over, Cameron is with that little bitch Chase, and some bastards killed Aiden... Dammit!

**Disclamer: **Not mine. The title of chapter is a Dashboard Confessional song.

**3. Screaming Infidelities.**

_FLASHBACK._

"This is it." Peyton stopped the car in front of a five star hotel. "At least she's miserable in a nice place." Peyton joked, hoping to cheer a very nervous Nathan up a little. He gave her a weak smile. Peyton sighned and placed her hand on top of his to stop him from making a hole in his shirt. "Hey." He looked up at her. "Good luck." Nathan smiled more genuinely and leaned forward. Peyton suddenly felt very nervous.

"Thank you." He kissed her on the cheek. They stayed like that, faces inches apart for a moment until Peyton rolled her eyes and said in what she hoped was a sarcastic way. "Oh, your wife is gonna love it, kissing your ex, is that your big plan to get her back?"

"Yout think is bad?" Nathan frowned.

"Yeah." Peyton laughed. "Now, stop flirting under your wife's window." They got off the car and made their way to the hotel's reception.

"Excuse me?" Nathan said. Receptionist turned around and looked at them.

"Can I help you?"

"I hope so. I'm looking for Haley James Scott."

"And you are...?" Receptionist raised one eyebrow.

"Nathan Scott... her husband."

Receptionist smiled politely. "Can I see your document?"

"What? Why?" Nathan asked confused.

"Oh, it's just policy. In case some fans tried to... _disturb_ _Ms.James_." Receptionist looked at Peyton's leather jacket and vintage band tee that that was underneath. Peyton frowned.

"Do I look like some crazy obsessed fan?"

"It's ok Peyt." Nathan pulled out his ID and handed it to receptionist.

"Room 102."

"_Thank you._" Nathan said and Peyton added. "Yeah, bite me." Nathan smirked and receptonist pursed his lips.

"That was mature." Nathan said stepping into elevator.

"Whatever." Peyton rolled her eyes but smiled. Nathan sighned.

"Stop fidgeting." Peyton hissed.

"I can't help it, I'm nervous."

"Well, a ruined shirt won't help you."

Nathan stopped fidgeting and pouted. "Yes mother."

"Ew!" Peyton made a face. "We slept together!"

"Well, in that case... Yes, step mother."

"Why is that?" The elavator stopped.

"Sleeping with step-mother is still allowed." They walked down the corridor and found room 102.

"You're disgusting." Peyton commented. Nathan knocked.

"...Maybe she's out"

"Receptionist would know that."

"Receptionist is an ass."

Nathan chuckled. Funny thing, he thought he would be a lot more nervous, instead he was constantly bantering with Peyton.

"Maybe is open."

Nathan turned the doorknob and opened the door.

"That's weird." Peyton frowned. They heard a giggle. Nathan rushed in that direction.

"Nathan, maybe we sholud..." Peyton tried to stop Nathan but he was already opening the door.

What he saw made him sick.

Chris was lying on top of a half naked Haley. Her arms were around his neck and his were on her hips, clearly trying to get rid of her jeans. They were too engrossed in their make-out sesson to notice their new audience. Nathan felt as if someone punched him hard in the stomach, knocking all the air out of him.

"What the fuck!" he shouted making them pull apart in shock.

"Nathan?!" Haley pushed Chris off her and tried to cover herself with sheets. "Nathan..." She laughed nervously. "Honey... I can explain..."

"What?! That you were fucking Chris?!" Nathan made a few calming breaths trying hard to not pay attention at Chris, who was now buttoning his shirt with an awful smirk on his face.

"Nathan, please..." Haley sobbed.

"Yeah, Nate _please..._" Chris mocked. "Don't be an ass."

Nathan lost all his cool in a second. He threw himself at Chris, punching him hard in the stomach and sending him on the floor.

"Nathan!" Haley's histerical voice only made him more furious. He grabbed Chris by the neck and punched him in the face.

"Nathan." Peyton soft voice called him and he stopped still holding Chris by the neck.

Peyton was a little caught off guard that he reacted so easly at her call but immediately took a chance and stepped between him and Chris. "He's not worth it." She looked pleadingly into his eyes.

That exchange didn't go unnoticed by Haley.

"C'mon. Let's go home." Peyton wishpered quietly not breaking the eye contact. All the pain she saw in his eyes made her want to scream.

Nathan nodded and left the room without even a look in Haley's direction. Haley rushed after him but Peyton stopped her.

"I don't think so."

"Move." Haley said through gritted teeth.

"First of all..." Peyton slapped Haley hard on the left cheek. "...And second ..." She slapped her on the left cheek. "Oh, and you're a major bitch." And with that she left after Nathan.

**A/N#2: **I know I should write this in italics but then it would look weird... or that's just my imagination. :) Thanks for the reviews, they are always a major motivation for me to move my ass and write another chapter.


End file.
